KAri$hma im not as innocent as i used to be

2010-09-15T18:14:00.002+08:00

Hi all!

I fluttered all over the place and gone through the whole Tumblr craze.But honestly I really bored with it.

Even my twitter account is dying.But hey, i decided to come back to my "old" blog and start writing again.

Well, apparently, recently(a few hours ago) I kind of, was put in a situation to realize thing have really changed.

I wondered when in my life things changed so much in the past two years then I realized through all that I have been through(its nothing much...:really").

I guess firstly, I am a Christian now.almost every second i think of Him.the love of my life.

Ive come to realize nothing.. and i mean NOTHING will ever stay the same in your life, people are going to walk out and cheat of you and betray you for what so ever reason that mind mean nothing to you.but I gues.It hard dealing with everything

*i kinda forgot what I am talking about*

hmm

okayyy....

its only Wednesday and it the MIDDLE of the week I still have a long way to gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..........

Dear Kevin

2010-03-30T23:48:00.002+08:00

Dear Kevin,

I miss you.I miss those days where you would come to my window and whisper I love you and wish me good night.

The thing I need the most right now is you.For I can't see pass the clouds without you.

Every text I get,I'll hope its you.

Ouh what I would give for the best friends we were.

Best friends who knew love and shared it.

When I see rainbows I think of you.the happiness you gave me.The smiles you gave me.

Now,theres no more warm shoulder on cold nights.I shiver.
Without you.
COLD.
LOST.
ALONE.

alone among everyone else.

Yes I always a smile and laugh and joke around cause.I thought you were happier without me.Always much much happier.

"I don't want you."-Your'e last words.

If only I could come visit you now.
If only I could touch you.
Maybe I am insane.
What's sane anyway?

Why be sane when I don't have you beside me.

With much love,

Saraphina<3

2010-03-10T14:21:00.000+08:00

Hi all,

Im back from Thailand.

so basically what did i do?

Well, we left on the 26th February.

Two hour plane ride to Bangkok and another plane to Chang Rai.

And we traveled to Mirror Foundation with is a non-profitable organisation.

and the next day we went to the hill tribe village.

We went to the Karen village which happens to be a Christian village.

Basically our job was to reorganize their library because it wasn't a library it was used as a classroom.So, we painted educational things on the walls.Things like numbers, images,We arranged a categorized the books.

We also helped to build a cafeteria from scratch.things like putting in the foundation pillars leveling the ground,filling it with cement and putting up the bricks to make walls.

We stayed in the village for 8 days. Home-stay.We go to experience the hospitality of the Thais' and it was just amazing.The way they treated us like their own.

We got to stay in the mirror guest house on the last two days.We became tourists and we visited to white temple, Golden Triangle and the homeless shelter.

I got to ride on an elephants head and experience so many things that I never thought I would do in my life.

The people that I was with during this 12 days are a good lot of people.We all took time to get to know each other.

Brothers Micheal, Eric,Wei Zhong,Jun hu,Ben,Pi Nu treated me like a little sister and thought me many things.

Zahara and everyone else like Dora, Christie,Lucia Kiti, Lini.Treated me like a sister too.They were always there for me.

And I wont forget ll the crazy things we did, Karaoke likes theres no tommorow.The titanic 2.Hot spa mania and hair day.

H.O.P.E 2

2009-12-26T01:22:00.002+08:00

I still believe in Santa.

I like the way Christmas has that extra special magic.

That little smile you get when you want into the cookie store..and you get some extra cookies.

I like the way the morning feels.Cold,but somewhat comforting.

The smell of roasted turkey in the house.

all the jungles and laughter feels surreal.

2009-12-22T11:38:00.002+08:00

ITS THE MIDDLE OF holidays and ive been having some fun i guess.

Awesome company.

Awesome friends.

Its all, going well, as long i know the boundaries my parent have set for me.

Well anyway.Today is going to be like a big big step for me.HAHA

Am excited.

SAM.

2009-09-05T10:37:00.002+08:00

Dear Sam,

I missed the moments we were together.inseperable some call it.We shared evreything.A cigratte even a ticket to the ball game.Yea,it been two whole years.Such a long time since I saw you.

I’ve something to tell you.I don’t know if you did notice back then but I used to like you a whole lot.But you were always attached or chasing after some hot girl you saw at a club.

I never had the courage to tell you and one day you decided to take a road trip alone.After your break up with Saraphina.You loved her didnt you.Every time i saw you look at her i saw Love in your eyes.You never looked at me that way.I guessed i was just one of the”guys”?

I wished you were here and that you love me.Because its been two years and I’m still not over you.Everyday, it becomes harder to even move.My heart feels locked up in chains.With locks that only you can open.

I LOVE you SAM.

And i need you.Please come back.

Every night I cry for you.Your love.Your touch.

The taste of your lips,I long for it.

And your mother really misses you.She’s kept your room the same way you left it.

So, PLEASE come back theres so much for you waiting here in you hoetown.

With LOVE,JULIE.

P.s:I miss you,

random

2009-08-26T12:06:00.002+08:00

tyler:baby, why?why are you crying?
kristen:why?you don't even care.so stop pretending*rolls eyes*
tyler:don't be like that i told you.i love you.
Kristen:yea you told me.but you dont show it.you have never shown it.so, who you trying to kid?!
tyler:i said i loved you..isint that enough?
kristen:goodbye tyler.i hate you!all the lies.its enough!okay?
*pushes tyler aside*
tyler:wait!
kristen:wait for?wait for you to play with me again?to think of some other way you can hurt me?ive had enough.i dont want any of this.
tyler:no baby.dont do this.
kristen:too bad. i just did.
*she threw the ring at tyler*
he sat there.
she walked away.

2009-08-22T20:08:00.000+08:00

take time to realise that love is kind.
love is there with everyone.
no need to chase.
no need to hide.

I THINK I WONT REALLY BE UPDATING HERE....
so, go my tumblr.
(:

a blog for this of not writings.

2009-08-15T18:06:00.001+08:00

http://karrrishhhma.tumblr.com/

erm...
yea..
im not moving..but i just have another blog.
for other stuff.

2009-08-13T22:48:00.004+08:00

The last handle.my favourite colour is green.

2009-08-12T13:40:00.004+08:00

All these talk about change.
everywhere.

remember when you were little,you had this time when you felt like no one understood you
that you just felt no reason to be on earth.

Well, i guess those who get left behind.They suffer.
no, not in the bloody mess, kinda thing but in the.

No substance kind of thing.

Like how a family of lamb, jumps over the fence and one little lamb gets left behind.
Poor little lamb.

no, its not pity it wants.
help.

i guess, better late then never.Right?

the little lamb is finally trying to jump over the fence.

Here it goes.

let see if the change is better.

im betting it will be better.

Sometimes, we lose faith in things for far too long.we refuse to try.Try again.
Like how the little elephant had a chain around its foot.
he couldnt break free.
and when its like 5 times bigger.
older.
he still didnt believe it.tired of trying.
but, his friends, cheering him on
he broke free(:

2009-08-11T21:09:00.000+08:00

The light from the moon.
Reflections from the water.
eel the need to hide.
the cold air,stinging her neck.

Dear Angel,
Let me speak my peace.
sometimes evrything seems like it falling apart.
things falling away,from you.Know how that feels?
You don't know how it feels.No one does, no one ever knows how someone else exactly feels.

And you just feel the need to go six feet underground.
Death, your dearest friend.
And enemy in love.

YES,Denial.

The thing is i still care. i want you to be okay.
I'm not holiding onto anything.
Its just my heart beating.
The fact is that everyone knows, the buterfly won't flutter around unattractive things.
this that have no significance to them.
Yet people still care.
Pain.
it hurts ,but too bad.Thats just the way life is.

ever felt?

2009-08-11T00:22:00.003+08:00

how do really know who you are
ever had the feeling you had to pretend spp much
you never know who you really are.
you try and please others.
yet you end up being called thequiet one or the noisy one.

ever had a feeling you wanted something soo much yet,it seems impossible
yet you hold on to it cause you've witnessed miracles
you refuse to let go.

ever had the feeling that you need to hide from the world,
anywhere,where theres no one.
no one to judge you
no one to please
but when you're alone
you feel lost because you don't know who to be
"yourself"
your conscience says yet you cant understand
you've never known what you are.have you?

have you ever felt that you were in the middle of a desert.alone.
somewhere away from everyone else.
dying.
crying.
screaming.
only the mocking silence.not even an echo.

we are all paraniod.right?
sometimes to the extent where we end up hurting out self.

ever had a gut feeling?
sometimes, we're dead wrong.
dun listen,you'll end up hurting yourself.

life, it tries to fuck up everything you want.
it takes it all away,or just hides it in a wooden chess under its bar counter.
maybe even take away thing you need.
it mocks you with quarrels
failures
dissapointments.
lonliness.

now, things aren't soo peachy anymore.

Maybe people get soo numb,life isint life anymore, it becomes sometimes they were born to do,

2009-08-09T18:38:00.001+08:00

lies.

2009-08-09T11:20:00.002+08:00

this is random.

2009-08-07T20:19:00.002+08:00

like a stranded boat on the ocean.
its seeks , it wonders for the owner
or the island that welcomes it with wide open shores.

will it last,
will it pull through the storm?
or will it cease to exist under the rage of the sea within seconds.

bears,animals,human-like, almost.
honey,sugar,soo sweet.
almost untouchable.
the forbidden

Im not going to care.

2009-08-06T23:12:00.002+08:00

the prize was the ocean.
the beautiful view.
the soft sand underneath my feet.
the most loyal buddy by my side.

i achieved my aim
(:

i know its lame, but this is what ive always wanted to do.
took me my whole life to decide to do it today.

i'm starting to see the structure disolve.
finally, a life.

Don't fret.

2009-08-05T12:27:00.001+08:00

Kristine:Dont foget the moment we used to share.Promise you won't forget me.Please

Seth:Every promise I make , its only because i doubt i can futfil them.please. don't ask me to promise because its makes no sense. no sense at all. i'll rember you.How can i forget the reason i breathe?the very reason i live everyday.My heart beats only for you.

Kristine:How can i know your for real?How can i trust you, well, its not really you, its me.how can i trust?I ve been let down soo many times before,and you know that.

Seth:I remember.I understand.I know what you want.You just need me as much as i need you.Give me a chance.Lets share this night together.Lets lie on each other's shoulder.You'll know it.
*seth knelt down with a crimson read rose in hand*
Trustme.

Kristine:Iwill.*embraces the rose in her ivory arms*

They shared a bottle of wine.Once before.They did.Now, it meant something.It wasnt a game anymore.It wasn't a Joke.It was real.

Seth held kristine in his arms.Tight.
he knew., that was what ahe wanted.What she needed.

A kiss she longed for.

Lets speak of the red land, cushioned with flowers and chance.
give Love a try.

Sometimes, it doesn't happen because life knows that we don't need it.Don't fret,you'll know when the time is right.
And you'll embrace it like never before.

2009-08-04T14:51:00.003+08:00

baby tell me why i'm waiting
tell me why i won't move.
tell me what i can do.

im waiting for a hand
a whisper
or somekind of a sister
to help stay today.

tell me why i want you.
tell me why i need you.
tell me why my heart speaks no whisper.

tell me why
i need your whisper
i know ...

when i see your footsteps on the ground
i find a need
to follow.

tell me why i see you in my dreams
just tell me.

but, theres no answer

this is something i just came up with.
dun thinkk too much.
these are words.

2009-08-04T12:36:00.001+08:00

i never said that was how i felt.

sorry

2009-08-04T08:38:00.003+08:00

shes sorry.
sorry for torturing you
sorry for making you a joke.
sorry for everything that she can possibly be sorry for.

i honestly never asked for this
im sure you didnt too.

he grabbed her by her shoulders.
one last kiss.
one last dance.
one last time.

"it was never meant to be."
he whispered in her ear.

only one thing an through her mind.
"why me?"

she never knew.
she never saw it coming.

he wasnt hers to have.
a woman in black.
she behind all this.
she crept.

the black cat meant something after all.
a bad omen.

he pushed her through a glass wall.
every shard worser than the other.
she fell to the ground.

the she lies on the ground.
back, bleeding
heart,aching
mind, taunting
hands,grasping

"letgo."
the angel said.

2009-08-04T05:54:00.001+08:00

bloody fuckhead.

2009-08-03T14:58:00.004+08:00

sometimes life just gets you by the ankle and you fall down HARD.

tears speak nothing.
no emotons.
no reality.

tears wont help
no solution
no aim

tears makes it worse
more sadness
more depth in the drowning ocean

crawl under a coconut and hide for a minute.
its better...

2009-07-31T23:18:00.000+08:00

i found this on my friend's blog.somehow.it realy makes sense. it touches me.

the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn’t mean possession
and company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much so you plant your
own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn…

- Veronica A. Shoffstall

okay.

2009-07-30T12:27:00.003+08:00

Because, sometimes.there is nothing else to say.
Come on, you figure out.
I know you're smart enough

.

2009-07-27T09:30:00.003+08:00

In times like these we doubt the exist.
But i believe that evaryone has a soulmate.
Everyone belongs to someone.

2009-07-27T01:46:00.002+08:00

ive come to learn that life is just a series of dissapointment.
a friend once told me that the faster i realise this, the happier my life will be, because ill hold less expectations toward others.

yes, running away seems like the easiet thing to do.
but you know what?
if i just run away,
ill be a coward.
then, wouldn't i just be the same as them?

its time for me to experience life, not just write about it.
not just ponder about it.

i want to face my fears, my insecurities.
one step at a time,
understand myself, not life
because lifge isint somwthing you can understand.
only experience it to know it.

its time to burn the
"play it safe"
care.

ill just hold hope in my hands and ill never let go,no matter how bad it gets.

yes, i know its easy to say.
but, i really mean it.

(:

2009-07-26T21:26:00.004+08:00

The mind drives us sane.
WE drive ourselves insane.

lies to ourselves.

believe in something that was never there.

like i have said,

INVISIBLE RELATIONSHIPS...

thats the worse of its kind.

the VICIOUS cycle

2009-07-26T17:49:00.005+08:00

she heard a voice call
from behind her.
"ANGEL!"
she called out.
a cold breeze across the back of her neck
chills down her spine.

she looked up
ahe saw a small green butterfly.
sweet.
innocent.
gentle.

she held out her hand and
it landed on her finger
she looked at it

it stayed for quite sometime
she smiled
and then,it dissapeared.

just when i statred to believe in hope.
thank ah
thanks.

mad cravings.

2009-07-24T08:35:00.002+08:00

things that i have craved for in the past few hours

cottage pie with extra cheese
coke
asam pedas
rendang
coconut
pizza
ben and jerry's cookie dough
stingray sambal
kit-kat
cheese hotdog
HOT CAKES.. with lotsa maple syrup
scrambled eggs form macdonals
hot chocolate
whipped cream and cherries
Macspicy burger with extra cheese
fried brocoli
tea
fruit punch
apple juice
black forest icce-cream
butterscoth pie
oreo cheese cake
mango cheese cake
honey milk tea

and ill bet you there are many more to come.

here you go.

hahahas.

dunnoe wads wrong.

don't be selfish

2009-07-23T17:48:00.001+08:00

take in the air.
breathe in life.

take life like a drugged out night.
take life it matters more than yourself.

selfish people don't get to experience life.
think about others.
not just yourself.

trust me
its worth while(:

its up to you to interpret this post...

2009-07-23T10:37:00.003+08:00

green butterflies
purple angels.

happy moments
friends(:

sometimes, when you feel strongly about something.

you just need to step away from yourself.
see, don't look.

know what will happen
because the decisions you make will have outcomes.
think about it.

what put soo much hope, effort into something that might actually be only 1% possible.

yes, it make life more interesting.

but when you're in too deep.
you're regretting, but now its too late.

you went too far.
the LONG shot.
you did it.

then you end up with all the invisible relationships and heart aches. and BIG BIG respnsibilities.

sometimes. we have to let go ah.
okay.

♥

question.

2009-07-21T15:39:00.001+08:00

ONE question.
ONE chance.
ONE honest answer.
That's all you get.
Respond even if you're not tagged.
You get to ask me 1 question.
Write it here.
ANY question & I have to promise to answer them truthfully, though i will not promise it will be a public answer
. CHECK YOUR INBOX PEOPLE!
No catch.
But I dare you to re-post this and see what people ask you.

I SAW THIS AND FELT LIKE DOING THIS....
soo here you go..
can tag me or msn me..
kayy?
question

i understand

2009-07-20T22:40:00.002+08:00

shattered.

i know how you feel.

life needs to go on.

lets go on together.
ive been through this

friends.

(:

cause its important to keep your friends close in times like this.

ive decided that ill stay and wait out the storm,rather then just taking the plane out of here.
fantasy time over.
reality..a little late but never too late

butterfly

2009-07-20T15:06:00.002+08:00

a butterfly.

soo free.

bounded by nothing.

colourful.

emotions...
a butterfly feels them

fear,
its flies away
it plays dead

pain,
it squirms around
it dies

love,
it lives for awhile
time can come to a stand still

it changes from a caterpillar.
it becomes much more better.
it becomes more appealing.

itll follow the sweetnes.
till the end of its existance.

for the wind shall guide the butterfly.

Do you think even butterflies have Angels?

2009-07-19T23:38:00.003+08:00

corner.
she sits

alone.
she cries

softly.
she sings

mind.
she remembers

reality.
she seeks

once eyes glistening with hope,were right beside her.
now, GONE.

she looked out the window
atumn leaves covered the forest floor.
CHANGE.
it happening,soon.

she has to let go of things that hurt her
she needs to tust
she needs to understand

time will help her change.

confidence,her soul shies away from it.

control.

it'll help.

cry,for its a relief

soon...

PURPLE ANGEL IS MISSED....

✯

2009-07-19T12:03:00.004+08:00

Did curiousity really kill the CAT?

Or was it just a story to scare us?
maybe even warn us?

yes,being curious can harm us.
but,if you aren't curious enough
is there really any meaning in your life?

the urge to find out,
to ask
to be right
to be the one who says"i knew it!"

now now,don't get carried away.
deception walks amongst us.

false hopes
white lies
denial
✯✯✯

2009-07-19T01:20:00.002+08:00

♥
♥
♥
♥
♥

its a change.

Fall of the innocent.

2009-07-18T19:37:00.003+08:00

her heart beats.
her eyes filled with hope.

innocence of a child.

she believes in fairy tales
she believes in happily ever afters'
she thinks that se has seen the whole world.

her parents wrapping her in safe arms.
this shall be the cause of her fall.

vulnerable.
she steps out into the world.
a place she's never seen

where are the rainbows?
where are the smiley faces?

reality.
a cruel dagger stabs her,again and again.

she has to learn,
learn to fend for herself.
learn to snatch the dagger.

yes,she'll get hurt.
its inevitable.

strength.
she''l have to find it
she has to trust herself.
trust her heart, not her brain.

fallen from grace,she'll pick herself up
torn,but she's still going

the world doesn't seem so happy and safe anymore,does it?

love
lust
greed
pain
WE FEAR.

a puppet in the hands of the manipulative and influential.

2009-07-18T03:39:00.002+08:00

see the flame?

it'll comfort me to know that we share the warmth of it together.

we're not burnt,by our fears
we're not hurt,by our own choices,any more

we'll take this devil called the harsh reality and we'll be happy
and thats all that'll matter.

because it'll comfort me to know that we'll share the warmth

a group of friends of the beach,
ordinary looking people?

take a look at their minds, you'd be suprised.
they sat in a cicle around the fire.
ashes in the air,
smiles across their faces,

they stared into the fire.
hearts burden-lifted.
HAPPINESS

purple angel.♥

hold

2009-07-16T08:47:00.002+08:00

Hold her for she has longed for it.
hold he because it isnt a want,its a NEED.

hold her hand.
show her the way.

they say a human is born with an angel.
someone there to guide you.
someone who's supposed to prick your conscience.
someone to help you through your problems.

so, dear Angel.
speak for she longs for it.
wrap her in your heavenly arms.
take her.
sweep her off her feet.

show that you are there
because in the darkest hour,she'll listen to the myth
that an Angel exist.

she'll cling onto this hope.
she'll try.
she'll look for you.
her eyes will long for you.

Appear.

p.s:purple angel is missed alotttt

no words for now.

2009-07-15T08:49:00.002+08:00

the picture frame.

2009-07-15T01:01:00.004+08:00

thats good.
come on,you can do better

go on,its all her fault.
she's the cause.
mhmm..more?
she's the one to blame
ouh good one.

yes its all her!
she's the worse right?
the fat ugly teenager living under the your roof.

hmm
lets see
why dont you try
"get out!"
no wait, that will make you look bad wldnt it?

hmm
how about
"I wished you were never born"
well,that one is deep but, itll do the job, shoot two birds with one stone.
we all know.
we can tell.

so, she the cause of everything
of the broken picture
the one that you wanted to paint.
oops!
the odd one out.
now everything is off.
teygeeting rid of her,
the picture will look better

everyone, so happy, soo perfect in the picture.try something candid.at least it wldnt be soo damn FAKE.

or maybe, you can just try painting a new picture,because that 10-year old picture is just too small.she can't fit.

but, for the painting to work,you need to start.
not arguing
but talking.

the shattered glass on the floor simillar to the family in the picture.
each shard seperate.no more ties,no more links.
they choose their own ways.
its BETTER.
right?
i know

i know this is abit confusing now.

2009-07-15T00:13:00.003+08:00

The Moon in the sky, big,round,white
a full moon.
soon, it'll be a new moon again.

Soo many changes that she has brought to her own life.
her angel there for most of the major changes.
adviced he did.
but soon,he's going away.

their hands inter-twined.
they felt a Whole.
not two individuals but one whole

they sat there.
for awhile.
they looked into each others eyes.
yes, their favourite game to play.

they knew soo many things about each other.
yet soo little.

so does the relationship between a human and an Angel make sense?
wait why am i asking you?
obviously who would say YES.its weird.

well now,
imagine you are in Her shoes.

you've never felt loved.
you've never seen anyone there standing behind the finishing line
no one ever cared about you ,really.
you don't understand ,you never could
people always said.you're a nice person.
so why?why isint anyone there?

You were on the edge about to leap foward you saw someone there.
someone who pulled you back from the ledge.
Support...
Finally...

but, it was weird
well, with you its always weird.
its inhuman.
well, that not really a bad thing is it?
hmm....

now, ill ask you again,
So, does it make sense for Her to love her to be in love with her ANgel
to be with him
to be in his arms forever.

its my turn to speak

2009-07-14T12:52:00.002+08:00

Dear angel,

Its my turn now, come take a walk with me.
lets go to the beach.
lets sit by the ocean
where we're alone.
Let silence fill the space between us.
warmth, not coldness.
comfort not distance.

lets share these moments together.
happiness.
for words are not nesscesary
you can just hold my hand that's enough

I know, you can't stay forever.
i know.
like i said before,I understand
Our relationship
WEIRD.
ABNORMAL.

i DON'T CARE.

all i know is that i LOVE you.

strong word?
i know,
it dsnt make sense,
i know.

i knew
i knew that i'll let myself get like this again.

no, i won't blame you for the heartbreak.
i'll blame myself cause nature warned me about you dear Angel

I've been warned.
i have.

But, can't you see how much i'll miss you.
how much i'll care.

you stole my heart.
its in the glass box.
before my eyes.
keys, washed away.

keep the box.
its yours now.
finders keepers.
just take care of it.

now, lets spent the night in each other's arms
because,these moments are priceless to me.

2009-07-11T15:40:00.001+08:00

every felt like you were possesed?

like you did something.
you wake up the next day and go
WHAT?!?!?

did i really do that?
what was i thinking
kinda thing..
hahhas

rediculous.

difference.

2009-07-10T18:16:00.004+08:00

NO.
i know.
this is not who she is.

Different.
Quiet.
Sad.

what happened.

They yelled at her.
they screamed everything at her.

Did she really deserve this?
what did she ever do?

it wasn't her fault.
it wasn't her choice to be born.

It happened.

She's here.
She's alive.
She's in LOVE.

Well if this is what love is.

Silence?

sorrow?

Avoidence?

Cowardience?

all negetive.
no light of HOPE?

now, HOPE.
Denial?
or Faith?

Yes, i seem crazy.
I lost my heart to someone.

Lost it soo fast.
I know,
I'll get hurt.

Why?
Why did I let myself get like this?

The Fear of being alone.
dwells within my soul.
inevitable.

everyone feels like this.

They speak whispers.
like i can't tell what they are talking about.
Angel's ,
I know, my Angel.
Missing.

P.S: PURPLE ANGEL IMY.

2009-07-10T01:23:00.002+08:00

He stole her heart.
He plays it like the strings on a guitar.

Love.
its a crazy thing.
the unexperienced fall fast.
the experienced too careful.

Take it at your own pace.
don't worry, there someone out there.

Sometimes we are just looking in the wrong places.
take it slow.
(:

yes, her angel again.

2009-07-10T00:41:00.003+08:00

creadits to heaqal for picture.<3

The brown leaves falling to the ground.

Couples in the park,romancing.

ducks in the pond.

She looked up at the gloomy sky.

cold air across her face.

She knew it

"hi angel..."she whispered

a smile across her face.

she closed her eyes just for a second.

His prescence soo strong.

warmth.comfort.secure.

soo much love<3

she opened her eyes,he was sitting right infront of her.

a guitar in hand.

struming.It sounded like something you couls only hear in a place called heaven.

if it exists.

he sung.

one word stood out.

no, it isint comlicate4d,not complex.

"love"

it was the way he said it.You could her the feelings behind it.

You could have cried listening to him sing.

She felt like she was walking on air.

her soul out of her body.

it was a new"high"

love can do that sometimes.

he stopped singing and stood up, he placed the guitar on her lap and sat by her side

"your turn."

he loked her in the eyes, capturing her heart.

he stole it again.

eyes soo mysterious, soo sweet, soo calm.

a smile soo happy.

a smile soo cute.

love does this sometimes.

they spent the day there.in the part, the world invisible to them

together.they spent most of the time,looking into each others eyes.

no words.nothing to say.

the girl ,happy.

she finally met him after such a long time

each second away felt like torture.

just being beside him, and being able to look at him.

that made her happy.

made her feel human.

Everytime he smiled, the more in love she would be.

the more difficult it would be, to move on.

she had to.

she was warned before.

nature it was a kind warning,yet she disobeyed.

now, in love she wouldn't be able to bear the heartasche

her existence would cease to exist without him.

HER ANGEL<3

Vulnerable

2009-07-08T22:12:00.004+08:00

There, in the middle of the room.
Agirl.
alone.

Crying her heart out.
glass of the mirror shattered like her soul.
broken.

Blood bursting from her cuts.
She was sitting in a pool of blood.
hurt.

she calls out"angel, where are you now?"
she knows he won't come
reality.

now, she can't breathe no more.
her heart can't take anymore beatings.
tired.

at last, her last breath
escaping her body, a soul,now free
freedom.

maybe you knew her.
maybe a friend.
maybe a cousin
maybe a sister
maybe a random stranger.
just maybe
maybe.

Why?
why do we put ourselves in such vulnerable situations.
no it aint them,its never been about them its always been us.
its our own fault.
despite all the warning that nature throws at us.
we still continue.
we make the choice.
so?
now, who's the one to blame?

we.
We hurt ouselves.
we don't listen
we listen too much to that little voice called"hope"
we cling on to the small ounce that justifies our "hope"
yet, it simply doesnt make sense.does it?

invisible relationships.
those are the worse.

my guardian angel

2009-07-05T01:39:00.004+08:00

A guy sings.
is he good or bad?

judge him if you must

he still sounds awesome.

Angel, YOU SOUND AWESOME.

your voice is soo smooth
your voice makes my heart melt.
your voice helped.

COMFORT.
ANGEL <3>
you always know...(:

Angel.
My guardian angel.

you caught her heart.
like a moth trapped in a glass box
visible,an illusion that she's free
but in reality.her heart was still in the box(:
let's find the keys.
help her.

She found it.
she met the first few people outside the box.
it felt different
Change.

fire

2009-07-04T11:27:00.002+08:00

FIRE.
consumes everything

in death.
we burn bodies.

in sorrow.
we burn memories

in victory.
we burn failures.

Fire, helps us let go.
let go of everything.

yes, its emotional
yes, its difficult
yes,it seems impossible

but, when you have friends around,
its not that hard.

now, i know the meaning
of
for some people
He dsnt send lovers.
but friends.
Friends that are far better that anything else in the world

But, why don't i say anything?
never really spoken to them?
akward?
haha.

its the presence of a familliar face in the crowd that gives you comfort.
you don't have to know the prsn that well.
just understand.

silence doesn't mean im not saying anything
theres soo many things to say.
but its al in my head.
Fear.
Akward.

Let's try.

rainbow

2009-07-02T23:49:00.003+08:00

Dear Angel,

Even in the darkest hour, i know you're watching
i hope you know when to step in.
before the rainbow dissapears.
before life itself dissapears .
I have faith on you.
I'm ready.
I know
the TRUTH.

a Rainbow,happiness after the rain
it clings on to whatever light it can get
until it just lets go.
and it just fades away...

RAINBOWS.

we learnt how to draw it when we were young.
the sun as well.

HAPPY.
they fooled us.
vulnerable people
into thinking rainbows make your troubles go away
and the world is such a happy place.

LIES.

colours of the rainbow,
some bright, some dark
like attitudes?
reality?

Credits to nurul for the awesome pic(:

angel

2009-07-02T11:31:00.003+08:00

you run
run and run
you don't want to stop

you reach a church
with grey arches
you run.

still running.

you come to a forest.dense.
atumn leaves everywhere.
you think you are alone.
you think you are.

you decide to stop.
your lungs aching
youre feet numb
you fall to the ground.

on your knees
you think to yourself."no one is around, no one wil ever hear this"

and you breathed in the cold air.and gave it your all.
"I don't want to be like this anymore.I want to be happy!I hate this sadness.you!you!made me like this!

you looked up.
anticipating the cover of the brown leaves in the sky.
but guess what?

Dear angel.there he was again.
eyes.so deep.
you look into them.
you feel so safe.

no, no physical contact.nothing.
but you felt it.
someone ctaching you from the great fall.

HAPPY.
dear Angel.

"why?"you ask"why now?why not then"

he put his finger on you lips and blew back your hair.
breath soo sweet you felt like you were in a garden
wiped away you tears with his soft hands
comfort.you thought.

faith, you held in your hands.
you reached out to hold his hand.

but, he pushed you down
you saw your soul shatter.
right before your eyes
in your own hands.

ANGEL!
why?
"because its time for you to go.
let go.
come with me."

you clso your eyes,trying to understand.simple words
yet soo confusing.

you open your eyes.
your angel.
in the sky,
grey wings.
a halo.
white robes
arms open

now, will you let go?
or be burden of the ground.?

ps. i miss alot of people.

2009-07-01T22:05:00.001+08:00

ps.im not talking about you.chill.

eyes of a random person

2009-07-01T21:23:00.004+08:00

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

true.very very true.well for some people.

i saw it.

consumed.
consumed by your gaze.

maybe you didn't notice but i felt like, for a moment,
we understood each other.
we could speak with our eyes.
one word wouldnt even explain the "words"our eyes spoke to each other.

amazing.
I won't forget you anytime soon.

dear hand.

2009-07-01T09:18:00.003+08:00

she woke up realising she was clenching her fists soo tight
and her palm had those small bleeding spots.
internal ones.
why?

internal.
not external

she can say anything cause she knows what is coming
its quite obvious.

but what if nature decides to screw with her head again..

wow.funny how just one word can bring on death

now, does that make sense.

scars and change.

2009-06-30T22:41:00.002+08:00

A scar.
you cant cover it.
well maybe you can with a good concealer.
but, no matter what it will still be there.
yes. i dsnt hurt as much.

how abt when you got it?
didnt it hurt?
i think it did.
it must have

it did.

a scar, no matter wad it takes time to heal.
some a week, a month, a year, a few years and for some it stays PERMANENT.
didnt you think?
think of how how much it would hurt?

yet, you can't bring yourself to regret the decisions you made.

Maybe you enjoyed it.
the blood.
the pain.
every second of it.

souns stupid.
sounds dumb.
well the manipulator, never sees.
it never occurs to them

why u ask?
think abt it.
you know the answer.

CRUEL WORLD!!!!

change is inevitable.
some change for the better
some for the worse
some try not to change and that never lasts.
so take change in your stide, do not avoid it.
welcome it with open arms.(:

outing

2009-06-30T20:53:00.002+08:00

i am so sorry for crappy photo quality.. but wth

hahhas

hmmm..

TODAY WAS FUN!

thanks for the great time AISHAH(:

hahhahs

our one month "aniversary"

hahahhs.

BEN AND JERRY's yay!

ok.

2009-06-29T21:52:00.002+08:00

thorw anything at me.
ill shut up....

but this is too much

you know it and i know it.

you are the reason i cry in the middle of the night
the reason why i wake up screaming

happy?
retard.

can i run?

i dont care....
why must you hurt me to be be happy?
why stare?
ouch im SOOOO hurt.....

its a stage

2009-06-29T14:22:00.005+08:00

Bacause the world is a stage....
it can make you
it can break you

fakers.
liars.
backstabbers.
murderers.

soulmates.
lovers.
friends.
best friends.

on lookers.
nobodies
some bodies

Who cares?
A stage is where you can be who you want to be right?

so, why conform to society's image.
why even bother?

speak for it is free.
move for you ARE free.

i dun care if you think im ugly..shut up!

2009-06-29T02:51:00.000+08:00

bored at 3 in the morning.

ocean.

2009-06-29T00:21:00.005+08:00

the ocean calling her name.
she listens
she follows

she take steps foward.slowly
going deeper.
water like a blanket.
blanket to make her feel safe

she wanted this feeling for soo long.
to feel free
to be one with nature
facing reality.

wait.
she can't swim!

now. the water floods her lungs.
she gasps!
shes been warned before
warned of nature.

she closes her eyes.
she lets go.
without much struggle

"bye."she whispered to herself as she hit the bottom of the ocean
hard.
like a stone dropped from a 100 storey building
the last memory of her life was feeling a loud echo resonating trough her body

her heart stopped.

good bye.

love.

2009-06-28T12:32:00.003+08:00

each and every human, unique.
we all react differently in situations.
some thrive harder, some give up, some just shrug it off.
soo many different ways.

i found someone who always does something i never expect say something different.
something that made me THINK.
made me REALISE.
sometimes life is difficult.
we have to learn.
observe.
slow down and listen.
and its not worth to wallow in self-pity.

love-
im afraid for it is a tyrant
im afraid for it has hurt others around
im afraid as it causes bleeding hearts
im afraid as it causes suicide
im afraid as it had broken up families
im afraid as it has taken soo much from one soul.

but why am i really afraid?

Denial.

love can seem wonderful(:
if you want it to be?

let go.

2009-06-28T03:58:00.003+08:00

she knelt before the grey stone.
who did it belong to?
how did she get there?

a red flower laid before her.
she picked it up.
one word engraved.
in imense detail.

that didnt matter.
the word was "hope"
hope...
dead?
a red flower in its memory.

a flower?
it rots....

Denial dead.

she laid her head on the cold grey stone.
she closed her eyes.
hope, gone
reality sinking in.
trickles of diamond down her cheeks
RED, now black.

Gone.

Just in that moment she saw a red ballon fly in the sky
someone must have let it go.

Let it go.

petal

2009-06-27T12:19:00.002+08:00

take life one petal at a time.

they can rot, the can grow.
(:

2009-06-26T21:32:00.004+08:00

you make her blood boil.
the moment you said hi.
she wanted to slap your face
she wanted to kick you.
she wanted to take a glass and wack it on your head.

he make jokes.
he thinks its funny
it isint
seriously

why cant he face it.
the fact that his and egoistic prsn

she bets that you hate her right?
shes your burden hah?
yes. she guessed it
too bad.

so he take his BIG BIG ego and shove it up his ass.
okay?
she has an ego to. who dsnt?

FUCK IT LAH!

HOUSE ISINT THE SAME AS A HOME

SO now, wheres her guardian angel?

___________________________________________________________________

2009-06-26T15:09:00.000+08:00

bored.

Hope.

2009-06-24T21:09:00.004+08:00

The grey rocks underneath her feet
she sat on the edge
she looked down and felt the most comforting breeze dance across her cheeks.

she felt the warmth
she turned
there HE was
the angel from her nightmares
sweet innocent angel

She looked him in the eyes
A gaze that seemed to be unbreakable.
hope.She did.
believe,She did

And the velvet voice told her
"hope.for it can be risky.hope for it might just turn out right.HOPE"

She looked back at the ocean
Trying to focus.
Trying to be happy.

She looked back to where to angel sat.
Now, gone.
will he come.?

She got up from the edge and retreated back into the shades from the palm trees on the shore.
and she waited, with HOPE

Hope.she has done it too much.So, shes been hurt too much, but wad is the meaning of life when she gives up hope?

I feel that I dont make sense

2009-06-24T11:53:00.002+08:00

She feels like crying.
She feels like screaming.

She remembers things.
Who wouldn't?

But, how is it that she doesnt recall memories that are happy
everything, sad
every single one?

But wait there are a few good ones.
hmm...
The emotions, possibilities
makes her tear up
why?

It dsnt make sense

She wants this
she wants that
but what do THEY want?

lucky-jason mraz

2009-06-23T09:19:00.004+08:00

Do you hear me?
i'm talking to you
Across the water
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky
Oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you, I promise you I will

I'm Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty, you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Oohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohh
Oohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohhohhohhohh
____________________________________________________________________
I heard this and its the song that keeps playing in my head(:
happy
happy
happy

this morning as i woke.
I opened my eyes and decided to wake up from the other side of my bed..
I decided to do things differently.
take another route
take another bus.
take another direction.

Change is good..

love.

2009-06-22T23:31:00.004+08:00

what is a chance?
an opportunity?
a reality?

wheres the gamble.?
love isint as simple.

love is a gamble.
love can be mean.
love can be kind

we all can hope...

but only those who dare
will take the chance(:

As we walked on the moon-lit roof tops together,
you took my hand and said
"hold me tight.i don't want you to fall"
My heart danced.my head spun.
im here. i wana hold on tight(:
i dun ever wana fall from up here.
cause we are alone,TOGETHER.
<3
DREAM.

Cause i am waiting for my veeery own happy ending(:

Sad sunrise?

2009-06-22T14:52:00.004+08:00

The orange ball rises up in the sky.
Hope here.
Dreams gone.

White angel-like hands wraps it up in a grip soo tight only a few rays escape
Dancing up to the high heavens

Heaven-like rays reflect onto your face

I'm happy to see you again.
I'm happy cause heaven has showed me the way.
YOu glisten in the sun(:

Yet as the orange ball rises.
Big and strong.
I cant see any of my dreams.

Where have they gone?

Hope.
Come,find me in the shallows depths of faith...

I hear something soo sweet.Your voice melts me..
Like the rays of the SUN....

sunsets...are happy(:

2009-06-22T00:00:00.003+08:00

Cause you make me happy
Cause you make me giggle
Cause you make me come alive

Cause ive started writing songs(:
Cause when i close my eyes its you i see
Cause when i turn out the lights i see you

Cause you are special
Cause you arent like the others
Cause im addicted to songs (:

Cause i dont know what love is....

Hold me tight in your everlasting embrace and ill be the happiest girl ever(:

Nervous and shy....they wiggled their toes in the sand together leaving footsteps on the ground.
The sky seems to understand.The sunset all nice.all happy.
Wait a minute...Sunsets,happy:)
Cause its the begining...
<3

2009-06-21T21:31:00.003+08:00

She fell down
hard.
she didnt want any help
she didnt want anyone to help
she refused
she cried soo much.
she choose to suffer?
it could have been worse.
she could have been broken
she could have died.

but what did she do?

"this is all because you never bother."
she would say.
how does this even make sense?
it dsnt..seriously

what if something bad really happened

have that gut feeling. that something really bad is going to happen
):

it scares the lights out of me, to think bout it.
i admit I AM afraid.

2009-06-20T23:07:00.001+08:00

it might just be a coincidence

dont bee too sensitive

im not siding im just looking at the whole picture.

talk about being MATURE.

I think E3 is haunted...

2009-06-20T15:34:00.005+08:00

something freaky happen to me yesterday.
came to sch early.
was hungry.
decided to go to class first.
on my laptop.
dragged fiqah down to south cateen.
cause i was freaking hungry.
walked back slowly.
so, we had to take the lift right?
there was like a chinese guy walking bout 2 meters away from us.
he went into the lift.
we didnt see his face.
well, the lift door closed.
so we assumed that the prsn went up and didnt wait.
about 4 seconds later the same door opened.
so we went in.
Guess wad?
there wasnt anyone there.
Freaky?
hahhahs
I wasnt the only one who saw it.
fiqah did too..
so, i didnt imagine it..
gah..
goosebumps.
8 in the morning.
_____________________________________________________________________

2009-06-20T12:26:00.003+08:00

meet my dog.

hate

2009-06-19T15:29:00.002+08:00

How can she let herself free?

lost.

shes the one we all hate...

such a strong word?

well, it seems that way dsnt it..

shes sad because of her own thoughts

honestly it just retarded

________________________________________________________________________

reality.

2009-06-19T08:25:00.003+08:00

seconds hours soo many days...
constant sadness
the more distant everyone becomes

lies.
anger.
all just full of shit...

hapiness is a need not a want
cause i dunno how to go on like this anymore

i reached out to hold your hand
you told me to do it
when i was just about to touch it,
you clenched your fist and you turned away...
):

her story.....

2009-06-18T21:24:00.004+08:00

shaking.
screaming
yelling.
she still looked the same.
she has a problem
shes been hurting for too long.
honestly.....
i dunt think she knows wad to do.

yes there are people who say that they care but....
actions speak louder than words.

she wants to be happy.
but, shes crying inside
she wants someone to come to help her.
but she knows the truth....
distant memories of the cuts and blood
come creeping back
trying to hold her down in the deep empty space
of nothingness

how can it can it help her?
how did it help her?
it didnt.

now.
shes still sad
crying
screaming
hurting on the inside...

why?
____________________________________________________________________

2009-06-18T00:08:00.003+08:00

RANDOM...shut up if you think im fugly!i dun care.

I wana change.

Change the way i feel.

i wana be happy again...

okay..

yea.

help.

___________________________________________________________________

2009-06-16T23:11:00.002+08:00

Maybe you think you get it.
When you dont really do.
theres soo many meanings from just one word.

you touch but you dont really feel.

Hahas.

2009-06-16T14:49:00.002+08:00

why soo emo?
why soo sad?
why soo quiet?
why soo scared?

feelings...
unhappiness
sadness
betrayal
misunderstood

you only look.but you don't see.
i know.
dun kid me.
it aint funny

im sad):

annoyed.

2009-06-15T00:05:00.003+08:00

when you look at me...
wad do you see?
a fat prsn.
a ugly prsn
a short prsn
an epitome of all things bad lookin?

wow!

okayy.

cause wen i look in the mirror i see a totally different prsn.
like seriously.

you make me go crazy over you.
you make me cry
you make me dream.
wow..but you dunt even know me..
does that make sense?
hahahas.
its like as if ive had an invisible relationship with you.
but the thing of it is..
i feel that im too fugly for you.
ugh..
fugly!FUGLY!FUGLY!FUGLY.!!!
fugly....
i believe you deserve more.
im a beggar...
i beg.

call it low self -esteem..
no confidence.
but yea....
fugly.. is pushing me over the edge....
___________________________________________________________________

2009-06-14T22:44:00.002+08:00

hmmm..
how did i spend today?
morning..
msn.
afternoon..
tvee.msn.
evening..
i spent it with my family....
today we celebrated kisty's 3 bd...
hahahhas
i saw sandeep(baby cousin)
hahhhas
awesome.i gt to like play with him...
i dunno.. sumthing bout holding a baby just makes you smile your sadness away(:
hahhhas
dinner was awesome(:

okayy

hhhahahahs
sch tmrw.
ugh....

life

2009-06-14T14:49:00.006+08:00

funny isint it..
how soo many things can happen within 2 weeks
broken hearts
new relationships
past relationships coming back to seek justice

its how you see it.
if you let yourself get effected, you will be affected.
if you dun, then see it in a different light
it helps.

im nt experienced in this kind of things, i just go with wad my heart says.

i know im not like them gals
all pretty
all "fun"

but i am who i am
i try not to hurt others
i try to help
but i dunno...
sumtimes i try too much?
thats why im like this now?
does that make sense?

i dunnoe..

i dun hate..
i dun wana kill anyone..
i just believe in karma
i dunno..
i try to be a good friend..
but sumtimes it takes both sides.

understand,i know you do.but try understanding it in a different light.

im here...
listening,not hearing.
i care
maybe you just cant see that i do.
every single word.. i rmbr

it aint your fault...

♥
♥
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2009-06-14T00:07:00.002+08:00

i saw it..
felt like doing it.
im doing this

RULE 1You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

--Asked someone to marry you?Innocent.
Kissed one of your Facebook friends?Guilty.
Danced on a table in a bar?Innocent.
Ever told a lie?Guilty.
Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?Guilty.
Ever kissed someone of the same sex?Guilty.
Kissed a picture?Guilty.
Slept in until 5 PM?Guilty.
Fallen asleep at work/school?innocent
Held a snake?Guilty.
Been suspended from school?Innocent.
Worked at a fast food restaurant?Innocent.
Stolen from a store?Innocent.
Been fired from a job?Innocent.
Done something you regret?Guilty.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?Guilty
.Sat on a roof top?Innocent.
Kissed someone you shouldn't?Guilty.
Sang in the shower?Guilty.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?Innocent
.Shaved your head?Innocent.
Slept naked?Innocent.
Had a boxing membership?Innocent.
Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?Innocent.
Been in a band?Innocent.
Shot a gun?Innocent.
Donated Blood?Innocent.
Eaten alligator meat?Innocent.
Eaten cheesecake?Guilty.
Love someone you shouldn't?Guilty.
Have/had a tattoo?Innocent.
Liked someone, but will never tell who?Guilty.
Been too honest?Guilty.
Ruined a surprise?Innocent.
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you cant walk afterwards?Innocent.
Erased someone in your friends list?Guilty.
Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)?Guilty.
Joined a pageant?Innocent
Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?Innocent.
Had communication w/ your ex?Innocent.
Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?Innocent.
A total stranger treat you by paying your jeepney/tricycle fare?Innocent.
Get totally angry that you cried so hard?Guilty

2009-06-13T12:34:00.002+08:00

crying in the corner...
dressed in black
holding herself..shaking..
haunted by her memories

take her away...

shit...

2009-06-13T00:15:00.003+08:00

i hate this fucked up feeling..
you know the one where you are depressed and hate every single thing thats going on...
i hate this..

i soo feel like killing myself...
ahh..
shit!
and i have this newfound phrase.

fml!

true..

2009-06-13T00:12:00.004+08:00

i guess it is true

a girl is soo emotionaly attached to a guy

and he might not even notice her....

hah...wadevea lah...
i dunno wads going to happen...

let the blood run through the veins...
cause if thy stops the flow, it could burst.

outing!

2009-06-12T21:12:00.004+08:00

hmm..
well today...
i finally managed to escape...
hahhas..
okayy today is e37q's outing...
hmm..
xavier,fiona,phay,vik,reshmi and guo rong, elf, and zhang xiao

well, hehehehehs..
today i played arcade for the first time..
pathetic..huh?

well,really had fun.
watched "drag me to hell"
i admit it..
eventhough it was PG...it was shocking..hahahas
because of the sounds

hahhas..
okay afterwards, went to bowl.
at cityhall.
hahhahas..
its been a long time.
hahhhas..
xavier!we beat you!ahahahhahs..
okayy
(private joke)hehe!

hmm...
. went to dinner at ThaiExpress
i had chicken curry thingy.
it was nice..yummy!i will eat there again..its worth my money..
okay

then went to Mac..chill and stuff
talked alot..
yea.
then went home!
sad..
okayy

thanks for the wondeful time peeps:)

my mum dsnt want me to stay out..
made it home at 8.30..
and luckily..she didnt start making noise...

i know i sound mean
but at this point in time, my mum is like being totally mean..
she dsnt even want me to go out..
haix.. wad to do..
parents....
can't live with them
can't live without them

erm.. well.. you know wad i mean...

2009-06-12T11:03:00.001+08:00

I feel like an EMOTIONAL wreck!!!

how i wish you were right by me...

dream

2009-06-12T10:03:00.002+08:00

wow!
it was a dream..
hmm..
okayy.
felt soo freaking real..
everything..
okayy..
hahhas...

i woke up this morning.. smiling....
hahhahas....

funny isint it,how they say, dream are an extension of your mind,
i dont think i would have thought of this..
but yea, it happened in my dream...
okay...

everytouch and every word.. still clear..
is it true?

2009-06-11T23:54:00.000+08:00

http://www.purehype.org/past/2006/10/future-mrt-map
hahahas..
those who bother..
this is frreking cool
singapore's future mrt line yo..

choice

2009-06-11T23:24:00.003+08:00

i am excited for the clASS outing tmrw..
but fiqah dearest wnt be there..
boo~
*sobx

but yeaaa.
i dun really knw my class mates that well..

its not the label that defines us.
its the choices that we make.

the choices that i made..
im pround of em' today..
wel..
it was a choice.
one that was mine to make.

if i didnt make it...
i would nt vhave had a purpose to wake up today.

i guess right now..
i live eveyday with a "aim"
so that i wldnt feel that my life is meaningless.

i think i miss you...
no wait.
i KNOW i do.
♥

please dunt think im a freak...

2009-06-11T21:53:00.001+08:00

i found this pic..

hahahhs.. thats me...
im bored...

love game.

2009-06-11T16:24:00.002+08:00

well,
everything will be okay..
things happen
sometimes pple arent really at fault..
but things just happen.

love is a complicated game...

songs

2009-06-10T21:13:00.004+08:00

i have been listening to songs today (:`

the fray♥
drake
jessey maccartney
and many many more..
wad for?
idk....
any more suggestions?

this world..gives comfort...
lets me be who i really want to be..

2009-06-10T18:16:00.003+08:00

i finally feel like my brain is back.. like it just came back from a vacation.ahahahs..

okaYY..
here it goes

the past few days erm have been quite uncomfortable

i have been stuckk in this house for about 5 days, other that the ocassional walk the dog trips.

well.. i cant stand it.. i wana go out..